Why Courting?

 Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, 

in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.

1 Timothy 4:12

Amber turns 16 this year. As we prepare for this part of her life we felt it was important to know how God wanted us to handle "dating". So with a lot of prayer we sought God for His will. It was made clear to us that courting was the way to go. It has become a trend in our society that once a child hits the teen years parents back off and alot of times pursue their own dreams and goals while their teen is left to do his/her own thing. Donald and I feel that is destructive thinking not only for our teen but also for our family. Teens are thrown all kinds of temptations and they need their parents wisdom and guidance during these years probably more than they needed it in their early childhood years. They also need to know that they are still and integral part of your family, even though at times it may be hard for them and for you.

When Amber was younger we talked with her often about what our dreams and thoughts were for her teen years. We thought it was important to let her know what we were feeling and thinking before the hormones and emotions of the teen years set in. We are also doing this with our boys. This way they know that our rules and expectations have always been the same and weren't put in place to make them miserable or to hurt them. They were in fact fashioned out of love and genuine concern for their well  being. We are new to raising young adults and don't claim to be experts but so far with a 15 yr old, 11 yr old and 12 yr old it has been our saving grace. Also knowing our rules are grounded in the Word of God helps them see the bigger picture for their lives.

We feel that courting is important, it is the opposite of the world's model and it keeps down the baggage that dating can bring along. Dating by definition is designed to throw failure at our children. You pick someone based on looks usually and try to get that person to fit in your mold, we all know how well that works. However with courting you seek God's will for your life and ask what He would like for your future spouse to be like. And then once he brings the two young people together, in his time, the parents of both young adults are able to help them navigate their new found relationship, centered on God's word and His truths. We have asked Amber during her own personal devotion time to seek God and ask what His goals are for her and her spouse to be, and to search His word as her model for a husband. And also to seek whether or not she is too be married. I know a lot of Godly women who are single and serve the Lord in very fulfilling and mighty ways, the important thing is that Amber is in the middle of what God has for her. Her father and I are doing the same thing concerning our children's future. We want our children to know that finding a spouse should be a deliberate journey.We are seeing that by asking Amber to be active in prayer and searching scripture she is taking responsibility for this new phase in her life and the importance of picking a spouse is becoming more real to her, and most importantly she doesn't feel alone during this time. She knows that her parents are here for her every step of the way.